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Srsly tho, it’s chill – releases stress, gets ya loose. Docs say it boosts oxytocin – love juice, baby! Surprised me – thought it was all dirty fun, but nah, science backs it! Still, some call it sleazy – pfft, haters. I’d tell ‘em, “you’re just jealous your back’s still knotted!” *snickers* Sexual-massage deserves a crown, not shade – it’s the Joker of relaxation, unpredictable n glorious! Whaddya think, pal? Ready to dive in? *manic laughter*

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Then, outta nowhere, the lead singer jumps off the stage and starts dancing with me! I’m like, “Is this real life?” We’re both laughing, and I forget all about the jam-stealing dog and my boss’s annoying call.