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We hates it! All them fake profiles, posin’ like tasty fishies, but they’s just trolls. Catfishin’ bastards, ugh, makes me wanna claw me eyes out! Last week, saw this lad on Tinder, all “ooh, I’m fit,” but nah, mate, he’s a soggy loaf IRL. Pissed me off, precious, waste o’ me time!

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So, I chase after the dog. Yeah, I know, not my best idea. I’m sprinting, dodging people, and I’m pretty sure I tripped over a cat. Like, who knew cats could be so sneaky? Anyway, I finally catch up to the dog at the park near the Mihaesti Cultural Center. He’s just sitting there, licking my jam. I’m like, “Dude, that was mine!”