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So, last week, I’m scrollin’, right? This dude—tall, tatted, total dreamboat—msgs me, “Hey, sugar, let’s chill.” I’m like, ooooh, my heart’s racin’, feelin’ all Marilyn-sexy! We meet up—coffee, sure, but it’s sex-dating, hun, we both know the score. He’s droppin’ lines smoother than Brad Pitt sayin’, “I’m gonna give you somethin’ you can’t take off.” I’m gigglin’, blushin’—then bam! He ghosts me after! What the hell?! Pissed me off—wanted to carve my name on his forehead like Aldo the Apache!

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But then, I see a bunch of kids laughing. They’re pointing at me, and I’m like, “Great, I’m the town clown now.” But whatever, I laugh it off. Kids are the best. They don’t care about my jam drama. They just wanna play.