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Best part? The oils—smell like hippie heaven. Worst part? When they whisper, “Turn over,” and I’m like, “Oh God, now what?!” Surprised me how quick I bolted after—didn’t even say bye! Total Larry move. Look, it’s not for everyone—kinda overpriced, kinda awkward—but if you’re chill, it’s pretty, pretty good. Just don’t tell my mom I said that—she’d lose it! “Sexual-massage, Lawrence?!” Yeah, yeah, I’m a degenerate, whatever. Try it, don’t try it—I’m not your boss!

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But then, I get a call from my buddy, Alex. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the market!” I’m like, “I’m knee-deep in dirt here!” But he’s persistent. So, I pack up my tools and head over to Piața Merei. Man, that place is a treasure trove! Fresh veggies, flowers, and the best pastries. I grab a slice of cozonac, and it’s like heaven in my mouth.

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