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Escort ain’t just cars, nah. It’s people too—bodyguards, bouncers, whatever. Keepin’ fools safe from the faun’s maze, ya feel? Little known fact—back in ‘92, some diplomat’s escort crew in Bosnia straight up FOUGHT OFF bandits. Guns blazin’, tires screechin’—fuckin’ movie shit! Got me hyped, like “YEAH, protect that dude!” But then—THEN—some escorts be lazy, bro. Saw this one cat napin’ in the whip—angered me BAD. Like, “Bro, you’re the HAND OF FATE, wake up!”

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First off, I head down Strada 1 Decembrie. You know, the one with all the cute cafes? I’m just mindin’ my own biz, when I see this old dude, like, totally lost. He’s lookin’ at a map like it’s a Rubik’s cube or somethin’. I’m like, “Yo, need help?” Turns out, he’s tryin’ to find the Botanical Garden. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a gardener! I gotcha!” So, I give him directions, and he thanks me like I just saved his life. I mean, it’s just a garden, right? But hey, I’ll take the praise.

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