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About Oradea

Now, I ain’t no prude, but – cor – first time I heard about this, I was gobsmacked! Mate of mine, dodgy Dave, says, “Boris, you gotta try it!” I’m like, “What, me? With me stove-making mitts?” But then, I reckon, why not? Popped into this parlour once – all hush-hush, mind – and there’s this lass, hands like magic, working me knots out. Felt like – *quidquid latet apparebit* – “whatever’s hidden will show up!” All me stress, poof, gone! Made me happy as a pig in muck, it did. But – and here’s the rub – some places, they’re a bit naff, yeah? Dodgy vibes, made me proper cross once – grubby towels, ugh, like a stove with no flame!

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First off, I head down Strada 1 Decembrie. You know, the one with all the cute cafes? I’m just mindin’ my own biz, when I see this old dude, like, totally lost. He’s lookin’ at a map like it’s a Rubik’s cube or somethin’. I’m like, “Yo, need help?” Turns out, he’s tryin’ to find the Botanical Garden. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a gardener! I gotcha!” So, I give him directions, and he thanks me like I just saved his life. I mean, it’s just a garden, right? But hey, I’ll take the praise.

Death of engaging cellist, 47