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But most of it? Trash! Dudes lyin’ about their junk size, chicks postin’ pics from 10 years ago—makes me wanna puke! And don’t get me started on the creeps. One time, saw a guy on X braggin’ about bangin’ 50 girls from Bumble—50! Who’s got time for that?! Total tryhard. I’d rather watch *The Headless Woman* again, get lost in that vibe—“nobody’s looking for me”—than deal with these losers.

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So, I’m walking down Strada Călărași, trying to shake it off. I see this cute little café, “La Măcelărie.” I’m like, “Yesss, coffee time!” I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this dude with a killer mustache, spills it all over the counter. I’m just standing there, mouth agape. Like, bro, really? But then he laughs it off, and I can’t help but chuckle too. It’s contagious, ya know?

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