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Last week, I tried it—sketchy parlor downtown. Neon sign blinkin “Massage,” but ya know it’s more. Walked in, smellin like lavender and bad decisions. Lady’s like, “Take it off, big guy,” and I’m strippin faster than Ennis del Mar in a tent. “I can’t quit you,” I mutter, half-jokin, half-hopin she don’t hear. She starts, hands strong as hell—lumberjack approved. Then it gets weird—good weird. Fingers dancin near my ass, I’m like, “Oi, that’s new!” Felt like choppin wood but backwards—relief, not work. Got me happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed—why’d I wait so long?

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But then, I get a call. My buddy’s in trouble. Apparently, he’s stuck at some bar on Strada Bălcescu. I rush over, and when I get there, he’s surrounded by a bunch of rowdy guys. I’m thinkin’, “What now?” But turns out, they’re just havin’ a good time. We end up joinin’ them, and I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost forget about my day.

Figure 3. Meteorological data recorded in 2019 (monthly averages),...