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The cars tho? Obsessed! Ford Escort’s my bae—did you know it raced in rallies? Like, legit sped through mud, total badass! I’d die to drive one, but, like, me behind the wheel? Disaster! I’d crash, obvi, then cry, “Love’s an impossible word!”—Godard, duh—while my mascara runs. So extra, right? But srsly, escorts are EVERYWHERE—cars, peeps, even apps now! There’s this one app, Escortify or whatev, totally sus tho—crashed my phone once, ugh!

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But then, out of nowhere, it started to rain. I mean, really rain. I was soaked in seconds. I ducked into a little shop on Strada Călărași to escape. The owner, a sweet old lady, offered me a towel and a piece of cake. I mean, who does that? I was so grateful.