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About Timisoara

Honey, let me tell ya bout erotic-massage! Oh my goodness, it’s like a gift from the heavens, YOU GET A CAR! I mean, a good rubdown that tingles all the right spots? Yes, please! I’m Oprah, baby, and I’m here to spill the tea. Picture this—soft hands, warm oil, and bam, tension gone! It’s like in *Margaret*, when Lisa yells, “You’re a little bitch!”—except here, it’s stress gettin’ told off. I got my first one, y’all, back in ’98—little known fact, this masseuse was a former ballerina! Her fingers danced on my back, I was shooketh.

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I was heading to the church, right? Just a normal day of preaching and praying. But as I walked down Strada Măgurii, I saw this commotion. A bunch of folks were gathered around, and I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, some guy was trying to sell a goat. A goat! In the middle of the street! I mean, who does that? I couldn’t help but laugh. The goat was just standing there, looking confused, like, “Why am I here?”