Emily Manastirea Find A Prostitute ❤️❤️❤️

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Now, findin’ one? Easy if you’re desperate. Hit the shady corners, alleys smellin’ like piss and regret. Or—get this—there’s apps now! Freakin’ wild, right? Like orderin’ sushi, but it’s a chick. Surprised me first time I heard. “I’m not responsible,” Haneke’d whisper—nobody is, ‘til they’re caught. *Wheeze.* Me, I’d rather watch fish mate than deal with that mess. Less drama, cleaner fins.

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Finally, lunchtime rolls around. I hit up the food truck on Strada Călărași. Best shawarma in the city, hands down. I’m scarfing it down, and this guy next to me starts talking about the weather. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not here for small talk. I’m trying to eat!” But he keeps going. I just nod and pretend to care. Classic Manastirea, right?

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