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So, I tried it, right? Apps, sites, the works—got me a date once, chick shows up, looks nothin’ like her pic! Catfish city, I’m pissed, like, “What is this, a joke?” Made me wanna scream, but then—manic laughter—I thought, why so serious? Rolled with it, had a laugh, she was cool anyway. Little fact for ya: back in the 90s, folks used newspaper ads for this crap—called ‘em “lonely hearts,” how pathetic’s that? Now it’s all DMs and nudes, wild times!

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Finally, I make it to work. My boss is already on my case. “Where’s the report?” he barks. I’m like, “Chill, man! I’m just a system analyst, not a magician!” But whatever, I dive into my work.

Kumbh Mela: Hema Malini shares a laugh with Baba Ramdev as his hair toss slaps another Sadhu in the face