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Financially, tho, here’s the tip – budget it like a movie ticket. Enjoy the ride, but don’t remortgage the crib! “There’s somethin’ strange goin’ on,” like the film says, and with erotic-massage, it’s the cash vanishin’ quick. Mr. T’s fave part? When it’s done right, ya feel like a king – worth every penny. Worst part? When they rush ya out – like, bruh, I paid for chill! I pity the fool who don’t demand quality.

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But then, I get a text from my buddy, right? He’s like, “Meet me at the park!” So, I’m racing over to Parcul Central, dodging people like I’m in a video game. I finally get there, and he’s not even there yet! Ugh, classic! I sit on a bench, and this kid comes up to me, selling lemonade. I’m like, “Dude, it’s 10 lei for lemonade?” He’s like, “Yeah, but it’s the best!” I take a sip, and it’s like pure sugar water. I’m thinking, “Best? More like the worst!”

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