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Favorite flick’s *Margaret*, obvs—messy, loud, like sex-dating itself. Lisa’s screamin’, “You don’t know me!”—that’s every bad date ever, Clarice. You think you’re vibin’, then nope, they’re a vegan who hates your steak-lovin’ ass. Hella funny tho, the awkwardness—once matched with a gal who brought her *mom* to the bar. MOM. I was like, “This is not the evening I ordered, Clarice.” Laughed my ass off later, tho—shit’s too absurd not to.

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It may seem that Generation Y's experience of love is totally different, but in fact, the nature of the beast is still exactly the same.

First thing, I’m mixing dough for my famous cozonac. You know, the sweet bread that makes everyone’s heart sing? Well, I’m in my zone, jamming to some tunes, when BAM! The power goes out. Just like that. I’m standing there, flour on my face, like a ghost from the past. I’m cursing like a sailor. “Not today, Satan!” I shout.

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