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So, I tried it once—yeah, me, Larry freakin’ David! Walked into this shady joint, dim lights, smells like lavender and desperation. Lady’s like, “Take off your shirt,” and I’m thinkin’, “What am I, auditionin’ for somethin’?” Felt like that scene where the cowboy says, “You will see me one more time”—kinda ominous, kinda hot. She starts rubbin’, and I’m like, “Oh, this ain’t bad!” Then—bam!—it gets *sexual*, and I’m losin’ my mind. Happy? Sure! Angry? Maybe—why’s this so good, huh? Why’s it gotta cost me 80 bucks?!
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I sprint down Strada Libertății, trying not to spill my sarmale. I’m thinking, “Why do I even have meetings? They’re so boring!” But I gotta meet with some local business folks about the economy. You know, the usual stuff—GDP, inflation, blah blah. But when I get there, it’s a total snooze fest. I’m sitting there, nodding along, but inside I’m like, “Can we talk about something fun? Like the best place to get mici?”
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