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Lemme tell ya, I tried it—oh yesss! *The Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! This guy, total schmuck, says, “I’m a catch!”—uh, catch syphilis maybe! Profiles lie worse than my ex’s alibis. Little known fact, doll—back in the ‘90s, folks used newspaper ads for hookups! No pics, just vibes—imagine that disaster! “Man, 40, seeks spicy lady”—serial killer vibes, right? Nowadays, it’s dick pics before “hello.” Drives me nuts! I’m yellin’ at my phone, “Gimme romance, not your junk!”

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Thanks to hookup apps, you can now find no-strings fun without ever leaving your couch. Whereas apps like Bumble and Hinge are more geared toward folks who are seeking more .

I bump into my buddy, Ion. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s telling me about this time he tried to catch a chicken for a barbecue. I’m dying laughing. Like, who chases chickens? Only Ion, man.

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