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Ssss, lemme tell ya, mate, it’s old—ancient, even! Egyptians did it, sneaky buggers, rubbin’ pharaohs down with lotus oil—fact! Not just sexy-time, nah, it’s healin’, too—muscles screamin’, then bam, relief! Me old back, crick-crack, could use it, precioussss. But—hissss—some parlors, dodgy as hell, makes me mad! Greasy blokes promisin’ “happy ends”—piss off, that’s not the craft!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my sister. She’s like, “Hey, can you pick up some groceries?” I’m thinkin’, “Sure, why not?” So, I head to the store on Strada Călărași. It’s packed! Everyone’s lookin’ for the same stuff. I’m elbowin’ my way through, tryin’ to grab some eggs and milk.

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