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So yeah, sex-dating’s messy, fun, scary—like *No Country*, ya never know what’s comin. “This is the best I can do,” I tell myself, swipin away. Fool me once, shame on—well, ya get it. It’s a hoot, tho—keeps ya young, keeps ya guessin. What’s your take, amigo? You dippin your toes in this crazy pool too?

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But then, I get distracted by this cute little café on the corner. It’s called “La Măcelărie.” I mean, who wouldn’t wanna grab a bite there? I order a sarmale, and it’s like a hug in food form. I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, the waiter drops my plate! Sarmale everywhere! I’m like, “Dude, really?!”

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