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My favorite flick, “25th Hour,” Spike Lee—genius, pure genius. Monty’s got one night left, right? Pressure’s on, ticking clock—sexual-massage would’ve saved him! “What do you want from me?” he yells. Me? I’d say, “Massage, Monty, sexy one!” Relieves the stress, makes ya feel alive! I’d tell him, “You’re not gonna make it”—unless you get that rubdown, buddy!

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the park near the river. It’s called Parcul Central, and it’s usually a chill spot. But today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re kicking the ball everywhere. One kid nails me right in the leg. I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids these days, man.

Romanian hard-right takes healthcare on the road ahead of EU polls