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So, what’s the deal? It’s hands roamin’, pressin’, teasin’— supposed to “heal” you, they say. Bollocks! It’s lust dressed up as therapy. I’d choose violence over some grubby stranger rubbin’ me down, yet— hear me out— there’s power in it. You’re lyin’ there, vulnerable, but they’re servin’ *you*. Kinda like me on the Iron Throne, yeah? Little known fact— ancient Essos lords used it to “bless” their brides. Sick, right? Made me wanna puke, but also… respect the hustle.

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Anyway, I help the guy, and he’s all grateful and stuff. But then he starts telling me about the history of Ludesti. Like, bro, I didn’t sign up for a history lesson! Apparently, this place has roots going back to the 14th century. Who knew? I just wanted to grab a coffee at that cute little café on Strada Victoriei.

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