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Say hello to my little friend! This one time, I’m gettin’ a sexual-massage, chick’s got oils smellin’ like heaven, and I’m floatin’. She whispers some kinky shit, I’m like, “Who needs enemies when you got this?” Straight outta that movie – power, control, all in her fingertips. Surprised me how deep it hits, not just the body, man, the fuckin’ soul. Ever try it? Bet ya haven’t. Most don’t even know it’s a whole damn art – not just horny dudes jackin’ off.

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I sit on a bench, trying to catch my breath, when I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s not half bad. I’m vibing to the music, feeling all sentimental, when suddenly, a pigeon lands on my shoulder. Like, what the heck? I’m not a statue! I freak out, and the bird flies off, but not before leaving a little “gift” on my shirt. Great. Just great.

Romanian hard-right takes healthcare on the road ahead of EU polls