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Oi, mate, it’s me, Loki—smug mischief god! “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” yeah? So, let’s chat escort—ya know, them fancy "companions." Not the Ford Escort, nah, that’s a rubbish car. I’m talkin’ the paid-date sorta escort. Been thinkin’ bout it since watchin’ *Leviathan*—you seen that flick? My fave, dark as Hel, Andrey Zvyagintsev’s a mad genius. That line, “Everything’s a lie, even the air,” fits escort vibes perfect—shiny surface, murky underneath.

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the park near the river. It’s called Parcul Central, and it’s usually a chill spot. But today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re kicking the ball everywhere. One kid nails me right in the leg. I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids these days, man.

Romanian hard-right takes healthcare on the road ahead of EU polls