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But real talk – what pisses me off? Dudes who think it’s just a quick “happy endin’” gimmick. Bruh, it’s ART! Takes skill, patience, mad respect – not some sleazy back-alley rub-n-tug. I’m over here like, “You don’t deserve this magic, sit down!” Meanwhile, I’m daydreamin’ – me, candles flickerin’, some lavender oil poppin’, feelin’ like the queen of Montmartre from *Amélie*. “I’m so fabulous,” I whisper, ‘cause why not?

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I score a goal, and I’m feelin’ like a champ! But then, I twist my ankle. Ouch! I’m down for the count. I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to play it cool, but inside I’m like, “Why, universe, why?”

Oldest casino in Romania to be converted into museum