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Dunno, mate, it’s a rum do. Some reckon it’s sleazy, others call it art. Me? I’m torn – love a good rub, hate the faff. Last time, slipped off the bleedin’ table – oil everywhere, looked like a greased pig! “The harmony’s broken,” I yell, quotin’ the flick, sprawled on me arse. Laughed so hard I nearly wept. You tried it? Reckon it’s worth a punt, or am I talkin’ bollocks? Tell ya what, it’s a butcher’s dream – all that kneadin’, but wivout the cleaver!

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As I’m getting ready, I overhear some locals talking about the old Lipova train station. They’re saying it’s haunted or something. I’m like, “Really? Ghosts in Lipova?” I chuckle. But then I think, what if I get haunted by a bull? That’d be a story for the ages.

The location of low altitude I. alpestris populations from Poiana Rusca Mountains.