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Me, I’d be rubbish at it – too loud, too floppy-haired! Imagine Boris escorting – “Tally-ho, fancy a snog?” – disaster! Still, respect the hustle – takes brass balls. So yeah, escort’s a wild ride – dodgy, dazzling, dead fascinating. What d’you reckon, mate?

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First off, I’m walkin’ down the street, and I see this street performer. Dude’s playin’ like a god, but his guitar is a total wreck. I’m talkin’ strings missing, body cracked. I’m like, “Bro, you need a new axe!” But he’s all, “Nah, man, it’s got soul.” I roll my eyes. Soul don’t pay the bills, buddy.

Romania and Serbia agree on constructing gas interconnector