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About Iasi

Still, gotta admit, some folks dig it. Little-known fact: them fancy oils? Ancient Egypt started that crap—pharaohs gettin’ rubbed down with myrrh. Now it’s coconut and horny tourists. Progress? Pfft. Makes me mad, all this fuss over somethin’ so basic. Hands. Skin. Boom. Done. But I ain’t judgin’—much. You do you. Just don’t invite me. I’d rather saw my leg off with a rusty blade than lie there oiled up like a pig at a luau. Hate everything, ‘cept maybe whiskey. That’s my massage—neat, in a glass.

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And then, outta nowhere, this dog runs up to me. A big fluffy thing, like a cloud on four legs. I’m petting it, and it’s all happy, wagging its tail. But then, it decides my backpack is a chew toy. I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But it’s too late. My snacks are gone. I’m left with crumbs. Great. Just great.

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