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Oh, and get this—sometimes escort screws up! Yeah, fuckin’ wild, right? If it’s stressed or mutated, it’s like, “Nah, I’m out,” and then you get diseases—Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, all that grim shit. Pissed me off when I learned that. How you gonna bail on us, escort?! Thought you were ride or die!

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Then, out of nowhere, my buddy from high school, Andrei, walks in. He’s got this huge grin, and I’m like, “What’s up, man?” Turns out he just got back from a trip to the mountains. He’s all hyped about hiking on the Ceahlău Massif. I’m like, “Dude, I’m stuck here, living the dream!”