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About Bucharest

Met this one bird – leggy, blonde, eyes like fuckin’ daggers. Called herself “Lavinia,” probly fake, but who cares? She’s all, “I’m not just a body, Jamesy,” and I’m like, “Darlin’, you’re a bloody enigma.” Reminded me of that *Holy Motors* line – “Beauty? It’s in the eye.” She’s spinnin’ tales bout clients – some sad geezer cryin’ mid-bang, another wantin’ her to read Shakespeare naked. Shakespeare! Fuck me, I’d pay double for that.

Escortes a Josenii Bârgăului

Then, out of nowhere, my buddy from high school, Andrei, walks in. He’s got this huge grin, and I’m like, “What’s up, man?” Turns out he just got back from a trip to the mountains. He’s all hyped about hiking on the Ceahlău Massif. I’m like, “Dude, I’m stuck here, living the dream!”