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About Myself
Just calling to introduce myself, I am Eliza. I’m savoring every day in Ivesti, and Sex Dating is the talk of the town! I am captivated by your boundless spirit, bondage and Cum in Mouth are like oxygen to me. I am a romantic who makes every moment count..
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Little fact, tho—did ya know sex-dating apps got started ‘round 2009? Grindr kicked it off, proper pioneer shit. Before that, you had to wink at someone in a pub, hopin’ they ain’t a nutter. Now? Swipe, chat, bang—sorted! But it’s dodgy too, fam. Me mate Dave got ghosted after sendin’ a dick pic—unsolicited, the twat! I laughed so hard I nearly pissed meself. “Bruv,” I says, “You ain’t Picasso, keep it in your keks!”
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But then, the waiter spills water all over my lap. I’m soaked! I jump up, and everyone’s lookin’ at me like I’m some kinda weirdo. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just water!” But inside, I’m like, “Great, now I smell like a wet dog.”
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