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I tried it once—oh boy, dis chick, she’s all “relax, Gru,” and I’m like, “Lightbulb! Dis too good!” Hands everywhere, like she’s crackin’ some code on my spine. Made me happy, ya—muscles all loose, but den—anger! She charge me extra for “special touch”—what’s dis, a sting operation? I’m yellin’, “I don’t want to be a part of this anymore!” like Robert Downey Jr., ya know? Total scam vibe.

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Then, I decide to take a stroll. I’m walkin’ down Strada Călărași, and I see this old dude feedin’ pigeons. I mean, who even does that anymore? But he’s all into it, talkin’ to them like they’re his best buds. I chuckle, thinkin’ maybe I should start talkin’ to the squirrels in the forest.

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