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Deadass, tho, it’s a trip—half relaxin’, half “Am I supposed to tip extra?” Favorite part? When they hit that spot, you’re like, “Oh, I’m alive!” Worst? When they linger too long, I’m thinkin’, “Bruh, this ain’t a date.” Pro tip: don’t fart durin’ it, ruins the mood, trust. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d say it’s 80% sex, 20% massage—don’t @ me.

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Prostitute, Golden Shower (give), Cunnilingus (give) for extra charge, Anal Sex (depends on the size), Cunnilingus (give) for extra charge.

Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from my friend, Ana. She’s like, “Girl, you won’t believe what happened!” I’m all ears. Turns out, she met this super cute guy at the market on Strada Tineretului. I’m like, “You better get his number!” But she’s all shy about it. I’m like, “Girl, just go for it! What’s the worst that could happen?”

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