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Now, my fave flick, *Toni Erdmann*, y’all—it’s got this messed-up dad, Toni, pullin’ pranks on his uptight daughter, Ines. Sex-dating’s kinda like that, ain’t it? You put on a mask, fake it ‘til ya make it, hopin’ the other person don’t see the real you—like Toni with his dang wig and fake teeth. “Who needs enemies when you’ve got family?” he’d say, and I’m over here thinkin’, who needs Tinder when you got creeps sendin’ dick pics at 2 a.m.?

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from my friend, Ana. She’s like, “Girl, you won’t believe what happened!” I’m all ears. Turns out, she met this super cute guy at the market on Strada Tineretului. I’m like, “You better get his number!” But she’s all shy about it. I’m like, “Girl, just go for it! What’s the worst that could happen?”

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