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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, sexual-massage, huh? Man, what a trip! I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my swamp latte, thinkin’ bout them hands slidin’ all oozy-like over ya. It’s wild, right? Like, ya go in all tense, and bam—someone’s kneadin’ ya like dough! I saw this flick, *Margaret*, ya know, my fave—2011, Kenneth Lonergan, pure genius—and there’s this line, “You’re a little nuts, aren’t ya?” That’s me, thinkin’ bout sexual-massage! It’s nuts, but good nuts, ya feel me?

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Finally, I finish up at the lab, and I’m ready to head home. But wait! I decide to take a stroll through the park on Strada Căpitan Avram Iancu. It’s beautiful, man. The trees are all green, and there’s this little pond with ducks. I’m feeling zen for a hot minute. But then, I see a kid throwing bread at the ducks. Like, chill, dude! They’re not your personal army!

Almost 100 villages in Romania affected by floods over the weekend