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But yeah, escorts—they’re a trip. Dangerous too, gotta watch out for creeps. Makes me mad, thinkin’ some asshole might hurt ‘em. They’re just tryna eat, like Mia stealin’ to survive. “I ain’t scared of you,” she’d spit, and I bet escorts say that in their heads every damn night. Respect my authoritah, I’m tellin’ ya, they’re tougher than they look! So next time you see one, don’t be a dick—tip good, ya cheap bastards! Cartman out!

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OMG, this place is lit! It’s called “Cafeneaua Insurei” or something. The vibe is so chill, and the coffee? Pure magic! I grab a cappuccino, and it’s like a hug in a cup. I’m sitting there, soaking it all in, when I see this cute girl at the next table. She’s reading a book, and I’m like, “Should I say hi? Nah, too awkward.” But then, I spill my coffee all over myself. Classic! I’m a mess, and she’s laughing. Great, now I’m the coffee monster.

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