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But oh, when it works—pure gold! Hooked up with this one gal, eyes like emeralds. She says, “I’m not lookin for serious,” and I’m like, “Grand, me neither!” We’re at it like rabbits, no strings, just fun. “The heart is a mystery,” Eilis mumbles in *Brooklyn*. Mate, sex-dating proves it—ya never know who’s a keeper! Little fact: back in 2010, Grindr kicked off this app madness. Now we’re all swipin like horny pirates!

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But then, I hear this commotion. Some guy is yellin’ about a lost dog. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” But then I see the dog. It’s this scruffy little thing, and it’s just sittin’ there, lookin’ lost. I can’t help it; I go over and scoop it up. The owner is so grateful, and I’m feelin’ like a hero. Like, “Yeah, I saved the day!”

Ground plan of Corvin Castle by Franz Neumann, Publicationen der Wiener...