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I tried it once—don’t tell Marge, she’d freak. This chick—pro masseuse, swear!—started with my shoulders, then bam, lower, and I’m like, “Whoa, that’s new!” Felt like a freakin’ king, all relaxed but also—uh—awake, ya know? “Mmm… donuts.”—shoulda brought snacks, ‘cause it’s intense, man. The oils smelled like flowers or some crap, made me sneeze, but damn, it was smooth. Little fact: they use ylang-ylang oil sometimes—supposed to make ya horny. Worked on me, oops!

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After a while, I finally get some decent lyrics down. I’m feelin’ pumped! I decide to head to the local pub, La Cămin, to test it out. I walk in, and it’s packed. Everyone’s laughin’, drinkin’, and I’m like, “This is my kinda place!” I grab a beer, and the bartender’s this cool dude named Radu. He’s like, “You playin’ tonight?” I’m like, “Yeah, if I can find a spot!”

UNESCO places Romania's Horezu ceramics on the list of intangible cultural heritage