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So, check it—sex-dating’s all bout hookin’ up quick, no strings, just vibes. Apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—scrollin’ profiles like you’re pickin’ sushi off a conveyor belt! Saw this stat once—crazy, like 40% of folks on these apps just want a bang, not a convo. Blew my mind! I was like, “Holy crap, Chihiro’d never survive this swamp!” She’d be all, “I musnt run away,” while some dude’s sendin’ dick pics—ugh, gross!

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Then, the day takes a turn. I’m walking back, and I see this stray dog. Poor thing looks so sad. I can’t help it; I’m a sucker for animals. I kneel down, and it just flops over for belly rubs. I’m in love! But then, it starts following me. I’m like, “Dude, I can’t take you home!” But it’s too late; it’s already decided I’m its new best friend.

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