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What pisses me off? Creeps who think it’s all “happy endings.” Nah, bro, some masseuses are artists—hands like fuckin’ wizards. Ever hear of tantric massage? It’s sexual-massage on steroids—breathin’, teasin’, no rushin’. Takes hours, leaves you shakin’. I’m like, “Why’d no one tell me sooner?!” Surprised the shit outta me—thought it was all quickies. *pinky-to-mouth* “One million dollars.”—that’s what I’d pay for a good one.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy from high school. He’s in town and wants to meet up. I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a crisis here!” But he’s persistent. So, I’m torn. Do I bail on work or catch up with an old friend?