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Aight, listen up, you bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, Program Director, respect my authoritah! So, escort, huh? Man, what a trip—like somethin’ outta *Inherent Vice*, ya know? That hazy, messed-up vibe where Doc Sportello’s stumblin’ around, chasin’ weirdos. Escort’s got that same wild energy, dude. Cars, man—fast, sleek, sexy as hell. Makes me wanna scream, “I’m not a pussy, I’m a badass!” But lemme tell ya bout this beast—Ford Escort, right? Not some lame hooker joke, nah, the car, idiots!

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Anyway, I get to the clinic, and it’s packed. I mean, like, sardines in a can packed. I’m trying to find my way through the crowd on Strada Călărași, dodging people like I’m in some weird video game. And then, I see her. The new intern. Cute, right? But she’s got this coffee spill all over her shirt. I’m like, “Girl, you okay?” She just laughs it off. I’m thinking, “Wow, she’s got a good vibe.”