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Favorite part? The weirdos. This one chick bragged she banged 50 guys in a month—proud as hell! I’m like, “Girl, you need a medal or a doctor?” Cracked me up, tho. Sex-dating’s a circus—clowns everywhere. “The town was changed forever,” like Dogville after Grace flipped out—same energy when you catch feels on a hookup app. Surprise! You’re screwed.

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Anyway, I get to the clinic, and it’s packed. I mean, like, sardines in a can packed. I’m trying to find my way through the crowd on Strada Călărași, dodging people like I’m in some weird video game. And then, I see her. The new intern. Cute, right? But she’s got this coffee spill all over her shirt. I’m like, “Girl, you okay?” She just laughs it off. I’m thinking, “Wow, she’s got a good vibe.”