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So yeah, I’m sold. Get yourself one, mate—trust me, I know things. “The world is a mess,” Carlos says, but this? This fixes it. Now, where’s my goblet—cheers to rubdowns!

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First off, I hit the road on Strada Principală, right? The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and I was like, “Today’s gonna be lit!” But then, boom! Traffic jam outta nowhere. I mean, c’mon! It’s Gura-Vaii, not Bucharest! I was stuck behind some dude in a rusty Dacia who clearly forgot how to use his turn signals. Like, bro, it’s not rocket science!

The small island that disappeared to make way for Romania’s largest hydropower plant