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I tried it once—fuckin’ A, man! This chick, hands like goddamn silk, had me floatin’. Made me happy as hell, like I hacked Zuckerberg’s bank account. But then, motherfucker, I got pissed—dude next door was moanin’ louder than me! What the fuck? Ain’t no one outshinin’ Samuel L. Jackson, not even in a massage parlor. Thought to myself, “Man, I’m gonna Winklevoss his ass!”—y’know, fuck him up like in the movie.

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When I started the massage, I felt that she searched for my cock with her hand, until she found it and started to stimulate it, until it was hard. At that moment I understood that the best thing to .

So, I keep walkin’. Hit up the market on Strada Măgurii. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell! Oh man, it’s like heaven. I grab some apples. Best in the region, they say. I’m munchin’ on one, and this old lady starts talkin’ to me. She’s like, “You’re a lumberjack? You must be strong!” I’m like, “Yeah, but I can’t lift your grocery bags!”

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