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So picture this—I’m tryin’ it once, right? Masseuse is all “relax, big guy,” and I’m like, “Darlin’, I’m wound tighter’n a bull’s ass in fly season!” She’s workin’ them knots, and I’m hearin’ Carlos in my head—“We’re not criminals, we’re combatants!”—and I’m thinkin’, hell, this ain’t a fight, it’s a damn surrender! Funniest thang? I near slipped off the table—oily as a catfish in a fryer! How’s that workin’ for ya, huh?

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I hit up the market on Strada Principala. It’s packed, as usual. I love the vibe, but man, people are pushy! I’m trying to grab some fresh tomatoes, and this old lady just elbows me. Like, chill, grandma! I’m not here to fight. I finally get my tomatoes, but I’m already annoyed.