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Aight, listen up, precious! Me, Gollum, supervisor now, yesss, we’s watchin’ everythin’. Sex escorts, eh? We hates it! Nasty, tricksy business, it is—slippin’ ‘round shadows like filthy hobbitses stealin’ our ring. Makes me skin crawl, it does! Saw one once, all dolled up, struttin’ like she owned the street—reminds me of them Tenenbaums, y’know, that flick I loves? “Royal Tenenbaums,” best movie ever, precious—Wes Anderson’s a genius, he is. That escort? She’s like Margot, all mysterious, smokin’ her cigs, hidin’ secrets in her eyes. “I’m adopted, you know,” she’d say, prob’ly, if she was in that film—ha!

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First off, I hit up Strada Principală for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my caffeine fix, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 5-layer caramel macchiato with extra foam. Seriously? It’s 8 AM, bro! Just get a regular coffee and move on! I’m losing my patience, but whatever. I finally get my black coffee, and it’s like heaven in a cup.

Climb Again and Kaufland Romania open a new climbing therapy center for children with disabilities