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Wawaweewa! Me Borat, I tell you bout escort, yes? Very nice! I watch “Shame,” best movie, oh sexy time in it make me crazy! Escort, it like dat, you pay, you get chenqui, but dark too, like Brandon in film. He say, “I’m not playing games,” when he chase dat feeling, ya know? Me, I see escort in Kazakhstan once, she sneaky, hide in goat barn! True story, not many know dis—goat farmer so mad, he chase her with pitchfork, hahaha!

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Then, I decide to stroll down Strada Călărași. Beautiful street, man. Trees everywhere, little shops, people chatting. I’m vibing. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes a puddle all over my shoes. Ugh! I’m like, “Really, kid?!” But he just laughs and pedals away. I’m standing there, soaked and fuming.

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