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Love how they glide, tho—silent, slick, like Robert Ford stalkin’ his shot. Surprised me once, seein’ this dude in a suit hop out an escort whip—thought he was some big-shot, turns out he’s just droppin’ off pizza! Ha! Mr. T laughed his ass off—pity the fool who don’t tip that guy! Escort’s got quirks, man—ain’t always glam, but it’s real. Sometimes they’re haulin’ celebs, sometimes it’s just Dave with a flat tire. “He’s a ragged fellow,” like the movie says—escort don’t care, it just rolls.

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After that, we chase down this lead. We end up at a café on Strada Libertății. I’m thinking, “Great, a coffee break.” But no, the barista spills a whole latte on my shirt. I’m soaked! Just my luck, right?

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