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Alright, buckle up, fam—sex-dating’s a wild ride! I’m Elon, your Creative Director, and I’m obssessed with “Holy Motors”—that trippy flick’s my jam. Picture this: sex-dating’s like Monsieur Oscar, switching masks, roles, vibes—total chaos, zero chill. You’re swiping, DMing, tryna decode if they’re DTF or just bots. “We get up every morning”—same grind, new face, right? Apps like Tinder? Hyper-optimized meat markets—algorithmic lust machines. Data says 80% of dudes get ghosted—brutal stats, makes me wanna yeet my phone into orbit.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this twinkle in her eye. “You’re the detective, right?” she says. I nod, feeling kinda proud. She hands me a piece of paper. “I saw everything.”

Transylvania's castle owners sink their teeth into business