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Oh – and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em – 5’5” and a beer gut. Cracks me up, but also – ugh, why? Be real, folks! I’m over here tryna live my truth – Zen pause – like Steve Jobs with a boner for innovation. Sex-dating’s my iPhone, man – sleek, messy, changes everythin’.

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Alex. He’s a DJ, and he’s all hyped about this party tonight at the old cinema on Strada Horea. I’m like, “Count me in!” But then he drops the bomb – it’s a costume party. Ugh, I hate costumes! I’m not a clown, man! But whatever, I’ll figure something out.

Fig. 1. Thermal settlements in Roman Dacia.