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Picture this—I’m sprawled out, thinkin’ bout *Werckmeister Harmonies*, that slow, moody flick I adore. “The turmoil has arrived,” I whisper, gigglin’ as some fella’s oiled-up paws work my shoulders. It’s sensual, sure, but I’m laughin’ cause I’m ticklish as all get-out! Ain’t nobody tellin’ me this ain’t art—Béla Tarr’d probably film it in black’n’white, all dramatic and deep.

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After that, I’m trying to shake off the pigeon drama, and I head towards the Danube. The view is stunning, right? The water glistening, boats cruising by. I take a deep breath, trying to chill. But then, I see this group of tourists trying to take a selfie. They’re all crowded around, and one of them drops their phone right into the river! I’m like, “No way!” But they just laugh it off. I mean, who loses a phone in the Danube and laughs? Only in Galati, I guess.

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