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Look, it’s raw, sloppy, unpredictable—like me watchin’ *Margaret*, yellin’ at the screen, “Fix your life, girl!” Sex-dating’s the same—dive in, get dirty, maybe score. Or not. Either way, motherfucker, it’s a ride! What’s your take, huh? You swipin’ tonight?

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So, I’m walking, right? Just minding my own biz, when I see this old dude trying to cross the street. He’s like, moving at a snail’s pace. I’m thinking, c’mon man, it’s not a marathon! But then, outta nowhere, this stray dog runs past him, and the old guy jumps like he’s in a horror flick. I couldn’t help but laugh. Like, chill dude, it’s just a dog!